Do you bleach your ones?

No? You probably should.

I’ve been to a fair number of clubs where the ladies dance in their underpants (okay, so they don’t really wear anything after the first song) and I never look at $1 bills the same way. Ever. Hey, I know the paper money goes through a lot of shit that one can only imagine, but when you see it first-person it really kinda skeeves you out.

So I suggest just not to think about where all those ones are crammed and lodged and stuffed. And don’t put your fingers in your mouth after handling them.

Unless that’s part of the thrill.